Composed and distributed a book about me available to be purchased at your nearby Barnes & Noble, Amazon, and so forth. Likewise obliged perusing at more than a couple of colleges. The catch? This accumulation of writing verse, complete with portrayals and drawings of old photographs, subtle elements a rough two-year relationship… that never happened. It’s hard to believe, but its true, I was never even mindful that she thought we were seeing someone any kind until the book was distributed. Bliss.
—Michael DeMattia, Facebook
- The nonbeliever
My ex let me know he needed me to get a “test” to demonstrate our little girl was mine notwithstanding the way that he truly viewed her leave my vagina.
—Lex Gore, Facebook.
- The pee devotee
He beginning drinking and washing in his own pee. He thought he could be Jesus. He had a percentage of the most moronic paranoid notions I have ever heard. He always body-disgraced me. Do I have to continue onward?
- The music lover
In the wake of knowing me for a week he made a playlist on his iPod of melodies that helped him to remember me — there were 600 tunes on the playlist.
—Teresa Washington, Facebook
- The guileful criminal
One of my exes stole my espresso mugs and plastic containers. Not every one of them, only one from every set so the greater part of my container sets would never be finished again and I’d have an odd number of containers in my pantry.
—Shawna Sikora, Facebook
- Therapeutic crisis
A couple of weeks taking after the separation I got an email from him saying he had been looking through his messages and saw we had seemed to have been companions, but since he simply had mind surgery and lost ALL of his memory he didn’t precisely know who I was. He kept on inquiring as to whether we could get together and I could let him know whether we were companions or more than that. Knowing he was lying — on the off chance that you lose the majority of your memory, I’m very nearly positive you wouldn’t recall your email secret key or even how to utilize the console — I asked in respect to what sort of surgery he had and he continued to let me know a particular sort of cerebrum surgery that has just been performed on kids in Africa who have hydrocephalus (swelling of the mind) because of African dozing ailment contamination. Doubtlessly, I think I settled on the brilliant decision by closure.
- The submitted liar
He faked malignancy after I said a final farewell to him. Faked the outcomes, got fake drug, and even got conceded into the clinic and sent me selfies there. After I didn’t respond how he needed to, he was “mysteriously cured.” #psycho
- Mr. Call Me Maybe
All mine did was take my moisturizer through my window (I’d abandoned it open and wasn’t in the room at the time) and called me the following morning to inquire as to whether I was missing something. The reason? He simply needed something of mine.
- The content camper
My ex took all my outdoors outfit — tent, dozing sacks, winter layer, boots — both his and mine, took them in the forested areas and LEFT THEM THERE. Thousands and a great many dollars worth of apparatus. Indeed all my additional covers, sews, pots, and dish — anything that could be utilized outside. Like, WTF, man.
—Sarah Anderson, Facebook
- The momma’s kid
He cleared out me in light of the fact that his mother instructed him to do as such.
—Hailey Renee, Facebook
- The web personality
My ex once made a talk profile with MY photos and was professing to be me “for the sake of entertainment.” I figured out on the grounds that I strolled in on him observing some other fellow move around “for me.” Later I discovered he would log into his profile to visit, make me sound like insane stalker who wasn’t even his sweetheart, log out of his profile, log into “mine,” and make “me” search for him. Abandoning me eight months pregnant was the best thing he’s ever done.
- The court case
He broke my auto window then a few weeks after the fact undermined to take me to court for keeping the pooch that I paid for! Hahahah plainly I was tanked the whole relationship?
- The person who will dependably come clean
My ex parted ways with me by saying she loves penis.
- The Crock-Pot criminal
My ex held my Crock-Pot for payoff and let me know that I “didn’t merit it.”
- The recognized find the stowaway
Stowed away in a common “companions” trunk to listen in on our discussion. My genuine companion overhead the plot and let me know early so I obliged it before busting both the douches on their insignificant plan.
- The moving stone
My ex moved out of our condo while I was escorting a school excursion to Europe! I ran into him after a year and he is single and has picked up 50 pounds! #KarmaSucks
- The wedding ringer
I went to a wedding of one of my own companions a couple of months after we separated. He called all the lodgings in the region until he discovered the one her and her new spouse were staying at and called the vacation suite at 2:30 in the morning inquiring as to whether I was at the wedding with another fellow.